“I have been drawing since I was seven. I draw every day, even at school. I like to draw cute girls and design dresses. I am now studying animation.
I don’t want to be a lawyer or a doctor because the mentality of many people is that they want money. I feel that instead of money, why don’t I enjoy my work?
I don’t want to be someone I don’t want to be and make my parents even more disappointed. Now, I hope they would accept me for pursuing animation.
This one time in class, we had to draw human figures. That’s my greatest flaw. I can’t draw human figures. I can draw in the Japanese ‘anime’ style. It’s hard already for me taking this course by myself and having to find balance with my family. I broke down and started crying at the studio. I found out later that many of my classmates were actually under stress too.
My friend said: ‘Your drawing is nice. If you say your drawing is shit, my drawing is lagi teruk’. So I was like tak bolehlah downgrade diri sendiri. You have to kadang-kadang rasa percaya yakin sikit. (I got to believe in myself and have self-confidence). So let me stick with this style la.
Her mom also doesn’t allow her to draw and join the animation class. Her mom wants her to become a housewife, to sew, to cook – all that kind of stuffs. I don’t think that’s necessary ‘sebab if you kahwin pun nanti buat, belajar juga’ (even if you get married, you’ll still have to learn all that).
‘Saya nak meningkatkan nama Malaysia. Nak harumkan nama negaralah’. (I want to bring up the name of Malaysia). Animation pun tak banyak syarikat kat sini. Dan government pun tak provide more money untuk animation. Sekarang animation pun ada sikit je’. (There isn’t much animation studios here, and the government doesn’t fund animation as much).
And like every artists, I never feel satisfied and I never feel like I’m good enough. I keep practicing every day. Learning is a part of our life.”
Photostory by Mushamir Mustafa and Ariya Ling