“Thanks to the courtesy of the managing director of this old folk home (I work at), I was able to rest and heal here. Ever since I recovered, I have been staying here to take care of other old folks.
My brother and his family lives in Kuala Lumpur, but I don’t want to trouble them though I need help sometimes. They have a life of their own.
I am happy here because I do not have to spend my Chinese New Year alone over the past six years. However, I wish I can visit my father in another old folks home in Cheras this Chinese New Year and have a family reunion dinner with the rest of the family. He is 86 years old and as much as I do want to spend time with him, it is hard for me to find a transport there.”- Chong Li Mei.
“Our story really started during my graduation day. We had dinner with other friends and at that time he gave his name cards to all of us because he was excited to be getting it from his company. After dinner, I went for a party with my other friends.
Later in the night, I realized that I didn’t have a ride to go back home and luckily, I had his name card at hand, and decided to give him a call. He was so happy to give me a ride back home since he had nothing better to do that night.
Ever since then we became close and we shared a lot of things about ourselves and our opinions – from worldly issue to the stupid issues (laughs).
Then came that night when we had were eating at a mamak at Shah Alam. Out of a sudden he decided that we should get married because ‘we make such great partners-in-crime’.
So I said yes.
And ever since then I had been looking forward to sharing the rest of our life together.”
“It was a struggle when I was younger, I was 21 and I haven’t even graduated when she was born. Financially I was poorly off, life was challenging for quite some years. Still I traveled a lot with her and we did volunteering work, I remember when I was in university she was there sleeping on the library floor. Everything I did she came with me.
None of my friends had kids back then and it was difficult to keep up with them, because you have new responsibilities and not everyone was so understanding. The responsibility was heavy, because I didn’t have a baby sitter. People reacted in different ways.
When I got pregnant with Elsa I thought of doing an abortion. But on the last night before I was to go to the clinic I felt there was something bigger telling me not to do it, it was the strangest moment I’ve felt.
It was a presence in the room, I guess the only way I can say it is, a God, so I started believing there was some God out there. So I didn’t go to the clinic that morning, it was a feeling so strong, telling me not to go ahead with the abortion.
There was a reason for why she was born, even if she has been brought up without her dad which I think is a shame and with no contact – but I know that there is a reason why she was born.
We really said this happened, and after I decided to keep the child, he was supportive and wanted to try and make it work, as well as his family. We got engaged but that’s when I saw that I was going to be so unhappy with this guy – he was over possessive, jealous, and angry.
Her dad is not married and living in Australia, but I think he is traveling around the world with a Russian girlfriend. He’s very rich and he didn’t pay for child support.
He was my boyfriend and we had broken up for a long time as it wasn’t stable. We didn’t get along very well, I think it was a cultural thing, he was from a very Italian upbringing with a strict dad, and he had the view that he would decide things for me and what I could do. And I was on the total opposite end, in a Scandinavian way of seeing how women are free. It was a clash.
I’m really happy that we’re not together seeing how things could have gone. Of course I want her dad to be around, but in terms of personality you’re better off alone than being with someone that makes you unhappy.
We were fighting and arguing – we tried for years, and I still kept thinking there would be a chance for us to be together and change and be a family. But it was not meant to be. There was an awkward situation where I went to talk to him about our situation and at the cafe there was a woman staring at me…turns out she was his partner.
Sometimes no matter how much you’ve tried, things aren’t just the way to be. A broken life can still be made whole. As I got older, I realized ‘broken’ is the new norm. Do the best you can , try to build up from it, draw from the ‘broken-ness’ to build something beautiful, draw from the shadows to bring light. Nothing is perfect.
Today Elsa is 11 and its been a journey seeing life again through a child’s eyes and especially traveling like this – its a double discovery as you’re discovering your own self and through her own eyes. And I think she’s been amazing because she’s adapted to so many new countries and friends and here in Malaysia she goes to a French school. It has been a blessing in that sense.
If Elsa is to see this message 20 years from now, I want to tell her that I hope that we can still do amazing things, just like how we just got back from climbing Mount Kinabalu, she was so strong and running up ahead.
I hope we can continue doing crazy things together, and who knows I might get other children in the future along the way, I still hope we can have fun in the future and that she is able to pursue her dreams both in love and work.
She’s got these crazy passions and tells me how she wants to be a singing football player who is also a hairdresser. Whatever it is, my message to her will be to stay strong and courageous, and I will always be there for you.”
“During Christmas we would go and pay a visit to their homes and vice versa – where they would visit our homes and celebrate. Christians and Muslims in Sarawak both celebrate each other’s festive season. There’s no problem. Mixed marriages is quite normal so we don’t see why we can’t celebrate one another’s important festival.”
“I work full time with the European Rohingya Council, and NGOs to provide healthcare and education for the Rohingya refugees in Malaysia. We teach them skills such as sewing, and help them to move on. I always tell the Rohingyas at our centre in Kedah that they have to learn to survive on their own.
It started in 2012 when my friend called me saying there were Rohingyas landing on the shores in Langkawi, where I was staying. I have never heard of Rohingyas before. All I knew was there were people who needed help, so I started calling people asking for foods, clothing and funds. I gave everything I had.
That day at the beach, I saw women and children’s screaming for help and it was something I can never forget. The tears, their facial expression… You can see clearly they were shouting for people to save them. They wanted to live.
I used to work in the hospitality industry as a manager and was earning well. My life was good, being a full-time mother. I pity my boy because I hardly spend time with him these days but he understands the importance of my work and my husband has been very supportive.
Children are innocent. They deserve rights to basic necessities and education. I will continue (my activism) until this genocide stops.”
“A few months into my job in a media agency as a media planner, I was sent for a medical check up where subsequently I was diagnosed.
The tumour was as big as my fist and it was removed alongside 27cm of my colon. I was in hospital for 10 days and took 6 weeks off work for recovery. This was in January 2016.
In March 2016, I started 12 cycles of chemotherapy every 2 weeks. I did not stop work because it was manageable.
Working actually helped me feel normal, because sitting at home just wasn’t doing me any good.
One week I would go for chemo and the second week I would go back to work.
The first week after chemo, for the first two days I would feel really tired and don’t feel like working but by the third day I actually felt like I could get the hang of it.
Work gave me a sense of normalcy and it helped me to recover.
This lasted till sept 2016. You will find a scar at my collarbone – this is the chemo port.
Nurses put in the needles into the port under my skin to conduct chemotherapy. I still have it with me till today; the doctor wants me to keep it up to five years, just in case.
Until I surgically remove it, I have to flush it at the hospital every 3 months.
I feel more normal every day, and sometimes forget about the cancer experiences I had to go through.
But I wouldn’t say I’ve moved on. It gets more infrequent but sometimes you just have a dilemma whether to push your limits or to hold back your ambitions.
I guess that’s the struggle for young cancer survivors. We’re too young to retire and have a lot of things that we still want to achieve but we’re afraid if pushing the limits will cause a relapse.
I find it kind of funny but I felt most blessed and lucky when I was diagnosed with cancer.
There were many things to be thankful about — being diagnosed before it spread further, having just enough insurance coverage for the treatment, meeting great doctors, having a good job, having supportive bosses and colleagues, family to take care of me, lovely friends to check on me and many more.
When my colleagues or friends hear of my cancer stories, they would say “you’re so strong”, and I always hesitate to reply because I think everyone has their own stories of being strong. Mine happens to be cancer.
For others, it may be depression, body image issue, or family affairs. We all have stories of strength in our own ways. Stay strong. You never know who you’re inspiring”.
“That’s why I studied developmental psychology all the way until PhD, until 3 years ago when I found out I had cancer. I was 27 years old.
Back then, I was a news anchor for ntv7, and hosted a successful web series and events, but as I was heading for a conference in China, I started getting diarrhea once a month which then became chronic for three weeks straight, whilst at full day events.
I went to see two doctors, and the medication I took didn’t help me at all. My dad then instructed me to go see a specialist so I went to see a gastroenterologist and he actually told me not to do a colonoscopy, but my dad insisted, and because of that we found a tumor in my colon.
So I had seven days to get my life together before my surgery – because it might spread and it is fatal.
When I woke up after the long procedure, I found that I had a colostomy bag, which is when your intestines are hanging out of your body and held in the bag, so your feces and everything has to go through it. Turns out that the tumor was too close to the rectum.
They reversed the colostomy. I didn’t have to do chemo but the experience of the bag was a hard one. I couldn’t believe that it was happening.
The doctors couldn’t understand why either because I had no genetic history of it.
At the time I had a boyfriend. He actually cleans up the poo- since I don’t poo the normal way- and sometimes I can’t even control it and it’ll come out while he’s wiping it and he still did it.
He’s now my husband. He’s really supportive. We’ve been together about six years and when I had cancer it was our fourth year together.
But now my dream has changed, because I’ve had cancer. I came back to Malaysia to raise awareness. Now I want to help cancer patients and survivors – especially young ones. Young people with cancer are actually occurring more and more, so people need to be more aware of it.
It’s so unexpected for them and I want to help them move on with life.
A lot of young patients feel embarrassed about it, and never tell their friends. But they shouldn’t feel that way. They should take it as an experience, learn from it and move forward positively. I think that’s very important. After a while, I realized why should I be embarrassed about it? And that’s when I came out.
Just because they are young doesn’t mean they don’t face problems, and actually it’s because that they are young that they face more problems, as compared to elderly people who get cancer. It’s tougher for them to get a job, and they can never be covered by insurance ever again, so be prepared. It’s very important to get covered if you’re young financially. Early detection is important.
I know that when you are young, you wanna try and move on, you want to try and live a normal life. But I think you should try and understand and don’t keep it inside. If you wanna share or if you need support, come to our support groups”
“When it covers the air passage of the brain, breathing will be difficult and I might lose my life because of that. This condition is called hydrocephalus and this form of cancer is called lymphoma. So the doctor insisted to take out the tumor and surgery was crucial and I needed to do it as soon as possible because it was life threatening.
So they had to dig in through the skull into my brain to remove the tumor and to drain the water out.
I then underwent my chemotherapy,radiation therapy, and I also did a stem cell transplant.
Thankfully, I am almost two years in remission.
And yes, my perspective on life changed.
I think we take things for granted usually, because if your life is normal, you won’t really appreciate everything in life. I’ve been through so many treatments, and the stem cells transplants were regenerating my life over and over again.
I can say that I have a new chance at life, which is a very lucky thing to have. I now treasure everything I come across, and I know how to appreciate the small things in life. Small things like having a perfect blood test report. Small things like these, like blood test results and my hair, growing, is happiness – something to be happy about. And I was not like this before.
When I was diagnosed I quit my job, because I was expecting another relapse.
I wish I hadn’t worked for so long. My daily routine was basically work, eat, sleep.
I changed my life, I changed to a slower paced life. I’m working on my own sweet time.
Work is not everything in life. If you are the workaholic type, do spend time with your family, because they should be the most important thing in your life. Work can’t replace them, whenever you fall sick, you rely on your family. Work can’t help much, except financially. Don’t neglect them because of work, it’s not worth it. Health is the other most important thing. I now work at my own pace, and focus more on my personal life”.
“I googled and found out about the IDEAS Academy, their work with refugees, who they were and what were their stories. So, I applied for their internship but it was full. Instead, I asked if I could volunteer. They agreed and I started immediately at the IDEAS Academy. The school was a shop lot, a really nice place, nicer than a government school. I was surprised by how it looked and felt like this place must not have a problem with funding. So I asked, and they told me it is fully funded on donation! They also told me they needed to shut down the school if they had no funds!
I mean, how can you shut down a school for children where nobody wants?!
Then I asked if I could start a crowdfunding page so I did that on my second day at work. I forwarded on WhatsApp messaged to my family and friends and I was so amazed at how people were willing to donate. My neighbours knew me but their friends didn’t and random people were helping! My target was RM8,000 but today I am at RM10,000.
I wish more people knew about the status of refugees. If we give them an education, they can at least go out and do something in the future. “
“Like those flight stewardess and super models, and just that instant you come and you’re taking my pictures. How did you know?” (I didn’t. I just asked if I could take her photo when I passed her and her friend by!)
