I am 13 years old. I am Ibanese, studying SMK Metamin. During my school holidays I would go out and play. I’d play volleyball. Apart from playing volleyball, we would go for a jog or play football with other kids. We rarely go to the stream and play. I think I would marry after I start working at the age of 20 something. 26 or so, after I finish my school. Most people here marry at the age of 26 or 25 or 20 something.
How often does the Klinik Kerajaan come and visit?
Every 3 months. I’d prefer if they come more often, that would be nice. Their visits are very helpful as we are able to get a full-body check-up; to see how high or low is our blood pressure, our sugar levels and such. Thankfully nothing bad has turned up for my health screening. If we have any problems before they can come and visit, we would go to the nearest clinic and have it checked in Limbang. A hospital in Limbang is about 40 mins from here. We have another Klinik Kesihatan around here. Maybe 2km from here? I’m not sure. But it’s a bit far if we are going by boat. They are open every day except for Sunday.
But we’d rather go to the clinics in the city than the Klinik Kesihatan nearby here – because there’s a market there. And the road to the Klinik Kesihatan is not that great. It’s easier to go to the city to get medical attention than here because the city is much easier. The quality is also better. The people from the Kampung would rather go to the city to seek medical attention whereas the fishermen or smaller villages further deep in the jungle would go to the Klinik Kesihatan.
What’s the difference between your generation and the generations before you?
It was very easy for women last time. The men would work hard to provide you. Nowadays, men are lazy and want to stay at home. That’s the difference now. It’s so weird that the women today are working to provide for the family and the men are staying at home.
It’s fine if the husband asks the wife to work because his salary can’t make ends meet. But it’s not fine if the wife is working and he isn’t! Look at this Nenek for example. Her daughter is working but the son-in-law is staying at home. He’s not even taking care of their child, this Nenek is.
I myself am 27 years old. Not many people have divorces here. Instead of divorcing, they would marry many. I have one kid, although I’m not sure if I want to have 5 children like my mother before me [laughs].
Saya sudah cerai. Tak sama haluan. (I’m divorced, our paths were not the same). I’m 27. Not many people from this kampung get divorced, it’s rare. Our generation and our mother’s generation are very different. They had 5 kids. I don’t know how many kids I’ll have. They had more sehaluan, more. balance. Last time it wasn’t difficult for them to find their way through life, now its hard, because even the men are lazy, and it’s them who wants to stay at home. That’s the difference. Back then, it’s the husbands who wants to and go to work. Now, today, its the reverse, they don’t want to work and mereka suruh isteri kerja (they ask their wives to work), but they don’t go to work. That’s how it’s like around here. It’s weird. Like this grandmother here, her children work 0- but her husband stays at home. The grand takes care of the kids. Of course, she gets angry.
There’s no arranged marriage, they still choose who they’d get married. They also wear their traditional outfits. Iban people marry at the longhouses, and sit on top of the ‘gong’. They call it the gong tawak. Then we make them wear ayam – as in they take the live chicken, and move it around. Its their adat.
“When I see young couples start a family and the man is being responsible for taking care of his wife and kid, it makes me both happy and sad.
I feel sad because my husband is not with me anymore and life is hard. I am unable to get money. It’s been a long time since he passed away. He died of TB.
He loved to smoke despite me telling him to stop. We both had 2 children. And both children have married early! One is my own biological baby and I adopted the other.
I couldn’t get pregnant again after my first child. I didn’t eat any medication or anything. I think it’s in the family genes to not have many children. I want to have more kids, but I can’t”.
“Which is better: to get married early or late?”
“Early! I got married for a year and I got pregnant a year later. I love being married.
If you have not settled down and gotten married, your heart is still free and can travel. Can enjoy. There’s a lot of responsibilities to hold when you get married.
There are some women who have gotten married but can’t have babies. They have tried many things to get pregnant but still no luck. It’s a pity for them”.
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– Humans of Kuala Lumpur went with the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA Malaysia) into the jungles of Sarawak, where they were helping out underprivileged Sarawakians and orang asal in their mission to deliver a world where every pregnancy is wanted, every childbirth is safe and every young person’s potential is fulfilled.
For the next week, Humans of KL, as the biggest storytelling platform in Malaysia covering all the states as its capital, will feature the amazing stories and challenges faced by these Malaysians.
“I have 5 kids (2 boys and 3 girls) and I am a grandmother of 4. Normally males marry at the age of 30 or so. For me, I got married at the age of 15. My husband was 30. I wasn’t afraid of marrying an older man at that time [laughs]. I am 40 years old now. I had my first child at 17 years old. We went to Hospital Kerajaan for delivery. It was good. I didn’t know much about family planning. But if you go to the Klink, the nurses will teach you about family planning.
Our wedding ceremonies differ today. Some like to have it grand, some like to have it small. Some people marry at the church and some people will marry at home. I got married here in my home.
It’s been 25 years since and the kampung has changed a lot. We had electricity since I was little but we did not have water. I guess that’s a big difference. We had to take pails of water from the river. We used them to wash our plates, bathe and we even used it as our drinking water. The river was quite far from where we lived. I myself was born in Sungai Pinang. Far from here! At Kampung Kijang and this is my in-laws’ house. I followed my husband to come here”.
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– Humans of Kuala Lumpur went with the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA Malaysia) into the jungles of Sarawak, where they were helping out underprivileged Sarawakians and orang asal in their mission to deliver a world where every pregnancy is wanted, every childbirth is safe and every young person’s potential is fulfilled.
For the next week, Humans of KL, as the biggest storytelling platform in Malaysia covering all the states as its capital, will feature the amazing stories and challenges faced by these Malaysians.
Photostory by Mushamir Mustafa
What is your advice to women who marry late in the Peninsular?
Perhaps they married late because they haven’t found the one. So it doesn’t matter if they marry late or early but the most important thing is that they find that suitable partner.
This boy has ADHD – or something else. He is extremely hyperactive. He is not under any medication. He is 6 years old. He’s schooling here in this preschool behind here. Next year he would be entering primary school and the school is not far from here. We just have to wait until he’s 10 years old to see how he progresses. I don’t know. He fell sick when he was just 5 months old (or he fell sick 5 months ago) and was sent to the hospital. After consulting the doctor, we were told that nothing is wrong with him. Just that he’s hyperactive. His grandmother is 36 years old. She married early and and his mom – both of them have a hard time taking care of him.
“I’m 90 years old. I was there during the Japanese occupation. I remember things here and there. I was in Sibu when they came to Malaya. I’ve been living here for 30 years. Before that I was in Brunei and was born in Sibu. I worked as a labourer – lifting cement and bricks.
There’s a lot of health problems here. Many do not understand what diseases that they have. Mostly because they are far from the city.
Maybe in the city a lot of young people have sex before marriage. Here, if you like someone, you would marry first before initiating anything else. Some things in life don’t change”.
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– Humans of Kuala Lumpur went with the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA Malaysia) into the jungles of Sarawak, where they were helping out underprivileged Sarawakians and orang asal in their mission to deliver a world where every pregnancy is wanted, every childbirth is safe and every young person’s potential is fulfilled.
For the next week, Humans of KL, as the biggest storytelling platform in Malaysia covering all the states as its capital, will feature the amazing stories and challenges faced by these Malaysians.
I am 70 years old. I have 4 children, my eldest child is 50 years old. Back in the days, I would plant rice seeds in the paddy fields and do some farming. I can’t do them nowadays – I’m unwell (I think she has gout). I need to go to the hospital every month. 2 days ago I went to the hospital to see a doctor. The doctor said my cholesterol is under control and I am not diabetic. I only have high blood pressure and gout. He gave me medicine for my high blood pressure, painkillers and some calcium to strengthen my bones. They usually last me for 4 months. When the time comes, I’d go back to the hospital to get them.
I don’t have any money to buy them outside. My son isn’t working so he doesn’t have money either and he’s old now! My youngest child is 14 years old. But I didn’t send my eldest to school last time. It was very far from home. There was no school here. The nearest school was in town. How were we to send him to school when we didn’t have money? How would I know? Life was just planting paddy seeds, farming and tapping rubber trees. We sold what we got to get money. My son still couldn’t get a job – so what he did every day was eat and sleep.
What is the secret in having a long-lasting marriage?
It was easy last time! No fuss like nowadays. You can’t divorce someone when you’ve married him. You have already built a family with him.
My eldest son wasn’t even born yet during the japanese occupation! He was in my stomach then. I was young then. I can’t remember my husband’s age during the japanese occupation. A bit older than I was, I think.
