“Here, the children are more free”

Where are you going for Raya this year?

I’ll be here. The Raya here… The Ibanese celebrate Hari Gawai not Hari Raya. Hari Raya here for me, as a Muslim, would be a normal day for them. We will work as usual. The YBSB is very far from here to even give me duit raya [Laughs].

What is your Raya message to the people back in Semenanjung Malaysia?

Selamat Hari Raya! Maaf Zahir dan Batin. To my family, please do not forget about us. Always have us in your prayers.  And to everyone else never forget your parents or those who have raised you. We, the young, must work to take care of our elders – our mother and father. It is the least we could do for what they have done to bring us up.

What is the difference between a child’s life here and back in Semenanjung?

It is different. Here, the children are more free. They have more friends. Over there,the kids will only play at night. They would go to the mosque to pray. But kids back in Semenanjung would also play with their phones most of the time. I don’t see that here. I think phones are not good for growing children because it will disrupt their studies.

“Working here in Sarawak is difficult because the salary is little”

I am from Semenanjung Malaysia, I am Malay, my husband is orang Iban and my child is Muslim. I am only the one from Semenanjung Malaysia here.

How did you come here?

On the 30th of May 2016 we arrived in Labuan. After that, we came here. My husband is from here. He is Ibanese but a Mualaf (a Muslim convert).

He has been there in Semenanjung for 15 years. He worked everywhere; in Singapore, Kuala Lumpur and even in Kajang. For myself, I was born in Kampung Sungai Serdang, nearby Kampar. 

I got married in 2010. I’m back here because my husband’s parents wished to see him. It’s been a while since he came back. His parents once made a police report because he did not come back. They thought he was missing when in actual fact, he was working in a faraway place and he did not tell his parents. He worked multiple jobs over the years from being a security officer to working in a clothes store in KL.

I used to work in security as well in Kuala Lumpur. We would travel just to find a job. I only managed to finish Primary School. I stopped in my first year of high school – in Form 1 – to sell kuih. Then I worked in a flower shop. All this was in Kampar.

Working here in Sarawak is difficult because the salary is little – only Rm 800 or Rm 900. Goods and foodstuffs are increasing in price year after year and there’s also GST now.

How can you manage with just RM800?

You have to learn to save.

I’ve been here for a year. Hoping to get other jobs to gather some money and go back home for a while.

I hope my kids will work hard in school and hopefully become a doctor or a policeman or even serve the army. It doesn’t matter whether they do it here in Sarawak or Semenanjung Malaysia but there will definitely be more opportunities in Semenanjung Malaysia.

When they are much older and have jobs, I would like them to come and visit us – their parents. To always remind them that they have come a long way to live a comfortable life thus they should be grateful for what they have now and to always visit their parents wherever they may be. 

My children go to school by car. Some kids go to the schools nearby, some attend boarding schools. Those in boarding schools would come back home by Friday and they are off again to boarding school on Monday.

Most of the people here would say that working in Semenanjung Malaysia is better because the pay is better. More opportunities there.

For how long more will you stay here?

I’m not sure. Probably two to three more years before I go back to Semenanjung Malaysia.

Did any of your family members say anything?

They call every now and then to ask how I am, to tell me to take care of my health and their grandchildren’s well being.

“It’s fun to learn.”

[sewing manually] How long does it take to finish one set of clothes?

Around one month. I don’t sell these clothes. I sew them for my personal use. I just learned how to sew my own clothes. 

Why?

Because not many people know how to sew their own clothes these days. It’s fun to learn. 

Who teaches you?

These aunties and uncles here! The uncles here sew too but they make Sirat (the traditional Iban attire for males).

What is this?

Baju kurung. The traditional attire we’d wear during Hari Gawai. 

How old are these old clothes? 100-200 years?

No! They can’t be THAT old. More than 10 years old or so.  

“At school I have a friend who’s my age who got pregnant and has stopped school.”

“I’m 17 years old, and at form 5. I want to be a primary school teacher teaching Maths one day. At school I have a friend who’s my age who got pregnant and has stopped school. She’s too young to have an abortion. But then after that she divorced from her husband, because the baby was not his, it was someone else’s. That man later ran away, and the husband divorced from her. Now she’s trying to make a living as a single mom. I think she might have been desperate when she cheated. I hope to go to Kuala Lumpur one day,and go to one of the islands on the peninsular, once I have the money. I’m looking for a man who works, I don’t mind the age. And he has to be responsible.”

 

“Most people here marry at the age of 26 or 25 or 20 something.”

I am 13 years old. I am Ibanese, studying SMK Metamin. During my school holidays I would go out and play. I’d play volleyball. Apart from playing volleyball, we would go for a jog or play football with other kids. We rarely go to the stream and play. I think I would marry after I start working at the age of 20 something. 26 or so, after I finish my school. Most people here marry at the age of 26 or 25 or 20 something. 

“It’s easier to go to the city to get medical attention than here because the city is much easier.”

How often does the Klinik Kerajaan come and visit?

Every 3 months. I’d prefer if they come more often, that would be nice. Their visits are very helpful as we are able to get a full-body check-up; to see how high or low is our blood pressure, our sugar levels and such. Thankfully nothing bad has turned up for my health screening. If we have any problems before they can come and visit, we would go to the nearest clinic and have it checked in Limbang. A hospital in Limbang is about 40 mins from here. We have another Klinik Kesihatan around here. Maybe 2km from here? I’m not sure. But it’s a bit far if we are going by boat. They are open every day except for Sunday.

But we’d rather go to the clinics in the city than the Klinik Kesihatan nearby here – because there’s a market there. And the road to the Klinik Kesihatan is not that great. It’s easier to go to the city to get medical attention than here because the city is much easier. The quality is also better. The people from the Kampung would rather go to the city to seek medical attention whereas the fishermen or smaller villages further deep in the jungle would go to the Klinik Kesihatan.

“It’s so weird that the women today are working to provide for the family and the men are staying at home.”

What’s the difference between your generation and the generations before you?

It was very easy for women last time. The men would work hard to provide you. Nowadays, men are lazy and want to stay at home. That’s the difference now. It’s so weird that the women today are working to provide for the family and the men are staying at home.

It’s fine if the husband asks the wife to work because his salary can’t make ends meet. But it’s not fine if the wife is working and he isn’t! Look at this Nenek for example. Her daughter is working but the son-in-law is staying at home. He’s not even taking care of their child, this Nenek is.

I myself am 27 years old. Not many people have divorces here. Instead of divorcing, they would marry many. I have one kid, although I’m not sure if I want to have 5 children like my mother before me [laughs]. 

“Our generation and our mother’s generation are very different.”

Saya sudah cerai. Tak sama haluan. (I’m divorced, our paths were not the same). I’m 27. Not many people from this kampung get divorced, it’s rare.  Our generation and our mother’s generation are very different. They had 5 kids. I don’t know how many kids I’ll have. They had more sehaluan, more. balance. Last time it wasn’t difficult for them to find their way through life, now its hard, because even the men are lazy, and it’s them who wants to stay at home. That’s the difference. Back then, it’s the husbands who wants to and go to work. Now, today, its the reverse, they don’t want to work and mereka suruh isteri kerja (they ask their wives to work), but they don’t go to work. That’s how it’s like around here. It’s weird. Like this grandmother here, her children work 0- but her husband stays at home. The grand takes care of the kids. Of course, she gets angry. 

There’s no arranged marriage, they still choose who they’d get married. They also wear their traditional outfits. Iban people marry at the longhouses, and sit on top of the ‘gong’. They call it the gong tawak. Then we make them wear ayam – as in they take the live chicken, and move it around. Its their adat.