“My boyfriend passed away after a night going out partying, and I was the only one considered his closest family contact at that point in time – and all his belongings were given to me, and I had to be the one organizing and relaying information, despite being in shock myself. And him being Muslim, he had to be buried within 24 hours. And not 4 months later, my best friend at university committed suicide.
So yes, I’m done with love for now.
My late boyfriend and I dated for 4 years. I really loved him and of course, there were a lot of ups and downs. I don’t approve of his lifestyle, which was excessive partying, because one day I knew that was going to cause a lot of trouble for us.
How it happened was one day, he went out with his friends.
Some were my friends as well. But I didn’t join them that day.
Around 3 or 4 in the morning, I texted them and they were on their way back. I thought everything was okay. But then, after I woke up in the morning, I texted them again saying “Yo, are you guys back?”.
No one replied to me. I called my boyfriend, and he didn’t as well. So, I started spamming in the group chat. “Didn’t you guys go out yesterday? What’s happening? Why is everyone ignoring me?”
Then I got a call from the police station. They asked who I was and asked if his family (my boyfriend) is here. But I told them I’m the only one closest to him here. Later, they told me to come to Hospital Kuala Lumpur (HKL). I didn’t think much like ‘Oh, maybe they got into a car accident and broke a leg or something. But this early in the morning?’
So, I texted my friend and I was going to be picked up. Then, I called the previous number again asking, ‘Where in HKL?’ and then they told me to come to the forensic room. My world shattered. After we arrived there, and it was confirmed that my boyfriend died.
I screamed and sat there crying. It was one of my most embarrassing, tearful moments in my life. The forensics person gave me all his belongings and then I had to call his parents. His mom gave me contacts for his aunt and other relatives. He’s a Muslim, so they had to bury them on the same day, and I had to organise everything while I was crying there. Later everyone bombarded me with questions like, “What happened?” but I was still in shock and feeling lost.
The cause of his accident was due to his friend, who was drunk driving and ended up hitting a stationary lorry. I think the car flipped. But the thing is, his friend didn’t get charged. He even went on and finished his studies in the US. The police? They said there wasn’t enough evidence, so the case was closed. I felt the world was unfair so that’s why I got into International Relations.
There’s always a slight regret in me because I still feel so sad. I always told his mom like, ‘Oh, don’t worry, I’ll look after him’. I blamed myself. I felt like maybe I could’ve prevented it. So, I told my mom about this while I was crying. But my mom told me “It’s nasib” (it’s fate). Even us, Chinese, we believe in this as well. If it’s meant to be, your life can be this short.
This was three years ago. It is sad, yes but I told myself don’t let my life tragedy stop me because the world will never stop for you”.
(Part 02/02)
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