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“I am currently working as a Play Therapist, mainly catered for special needs children.
Before I was working in this field, I was in an insurance company. It wasn’t my dream job, but it was something I could make a living on. I didn’t feel fulfilled, hence I decided to resign from my job 15 years ago. I knew I wanted to work with children but I wasn’t sure how. I started off teaching English and IT skills for kids. During this time, I came across special needs children. I felt that they were different from the others. Their learning methods were entirely different. I was also working with my niece who has Cerebral Palsy. I wasn’t able to get through to her as well because I was teaching her as I would teach a regular child.
I knew that I needed to have another skill to be able to reach these children. I took up a course for special needs children, certificate, two diplomas. I found that it was very useful, as I was able to apply whatever I learned. I can actually see tremendous changes in the way I approached them as well as the pace of their progression so I was very happy with that.
After my course, I also got to know about Play Therapy. When I signed up for the Play Therapy course, I thought I wanted to teach children how to play and to have more fun in my teaching approach as I didn’t have children of my own. But when I took up the course, it wasn’t what I thought it would be! Play Therapy isn’t so much about playing, it’s a psychotherapy to counsel children. It’s more of me learning from the child on how to play. Many tend to use the term “play therapy” to refer to a group session where the kids play a game or with a toy.
But our Play Therapy, trained from Play Therapy UK, is entirely different. It’s a one-to-one session, we observe how they play and through their play is their way of communicating with us. We normally practice non-directive play therapy, where the child has the freedom to choose their own play. Kids will set their own pace and direction – we do not interfere with that. We have a playroom full of selected toys, which has its own meaning. We have things like puppets, art and crafts, painting, drawing materials, sand play. We do not provide mechanical toys, no electronics – we don’t encourage that.
Most special needs children may not know how to communicate, so we give voice to their play. When they play, we will narrate, reflect the play back to them so that they learn what they’re feeling, what is their emotion, how they connect back to the child. Even for normal kids, they may have the words but they may not know how to express what they feel. For special needs kids, it might be even more difficult as they may not even possess the words to describe what they feel.
In Play Therapy, we create a safe environment so that the child is comfortable to be themselves. It is total acceptance of the child as they are. They are free to do whatever they wish to do, but of course, within boundaries. Don’t hurt themselves, don’t break toys. If they do break boundaries, we tell them. For example, if a child decides to draw on the wall instead of paper. We will tell them that the wall is not for drawing, and divert their attention to drawing on paper instead. If the kid starts throwing the sand about, we will tell them that the sand stays in the box. It’s a very gentle reminder. But if they insist, we tell them that as they are not respecting their environment and it would mean that they do not want to play here anymore. They are given the choice, but consequences are communicated to them.
When they encounter a problem, they learn to solve it on their own. When you are able to guide yourself and feel self-assured, your behaviour will change. And as they change on the inside, they will change on the outside as well.
I had the opportunity to witness the progression of many kids. But there was this 8-year-old girl who is in one of the homes I worked in that showed tremendous growth. She was an abandoned child. When I worked with her, she had already been there for a year. She had been non-verbal, kept to herself, and did not mix around with other kids. When she sat in the surau alone, she would also wet herself. When I first met her, she was not able to connect with me at all. She was just staring at me. She didn’t speak, so I wasn’t sure she was able to talk. Even her carers were unsure, and they thought she was mentally challenged.
The progress was quite slow. At first, we just started playing. Halfway during our first session, she wanted to leave. In the second session, she started playing. It’s a new experience because they are so used to be given instructions. She started playing mostly on her own. Slowly I connected with her, and she started playing with me. By the 4th and 5th session, I realised she was shouting and scolding me, giving instructions on what I should do. I realised she was acting out how people were treating her, so I felt a lot of compassion for her after that. But after a while, it stopped. The bullying thing stopped, she started having fun with me, interacted with me.
After working with her for 20 sessions, I was surprised to see how she’s transformed. Now she is able to play with other children, she mingles with others, she no longer needs to wear diapers as she doesn’t wet herself anymore. Now she’s actually able to talk, she wasn’t mentally retarded. She’s a foreigner here and she’s unable to attend school, the lack of proper education could be a possible factor in this.
I worked with an autistic boy who went for all kinds of therapy, but he looks forward to play therapy the most! When I had my first session with him, he did not make eye contact and was absorbed in his own world – which is very typical of autistic children. I was patient with him, I never pushed anything on him. I guess it was a very calming and soothing effect on him because he was able to be himself in therapy. In play therapy, the relationship between the therapist and the child is very important. The relationship will determine the success of the therapy. I was able to build that with him, and because of that trust, he was able to slowly reach out to me. Now we have a lot more eye contact, he’s able to tell me things. His mom told me that he became more expressive and communicated more. He’s able to tell the mother that he’s hungry, if he’s in pain. Before that, he was not able to express these things. And when they’re unable to express your frustration, the only reaction they know is to throw a tantrum. But once he learned how to communicate and express himself, the tantrums reduced a lot. He woke his mother once, saying he has a sore throat and he wanted medicine. He was also able to tell the mother he was sick and he requested for soup. The mother was so happy that her son requested soup from her for the first time. I feel that play therapy is good for those with special needs as they gradually learn to communicate from the interactions they have with their therapist. From there, they are able to apply it outside of the playroom.
I realised that whatever children were playing in the play room is a reflection of their life outside. A kid may not be able to verbalise it, but it is reflected in their play. And when you understand, show compassion, love and acceptance, trust will be built and together we can progress.”
Part 1/2
Photostory and edited by Win Li
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Ho Nyet Fah is a Therapeutic Play Practitioner/Therapist. Her email address is honf2012@gmail.com. She can also be reached via mobile for enquiries at 017-3676361.
– Humans of Kuala Lumpur
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